I know, I know...I haven't blogged in a LONG time but everyone tells me they keep up with Miles on my mom's awesome blog so I felt like I didn't have to. I'm having a hard time finding a balance between trying to document every moment and enjoying the moment. There is definitely a fine line.
Becoming a mother of 2 was more and less than I expected. I expected more work..physical work which there is plenty of. What I wasn't fully expecting was the emotional work. I knew Drew would have emotional needs that needed to be addressed with having to share his mommy and daddy. But, I have had lots of emotional work that has had to be done. I guess with your first baby you are so enthralled with being a new mom and exhaustion sets in that you don't think about some of these things....I'm working them out, slowly and surely. I just want to be the best mom to these 2 boys that I can be but what mom doesn't want to be that. I have a hard time second guessing every decision that I make and both of my boys are so different that it makes it that much harder because what I did for Drew isn't and doesn't work for Miles which leads me to my next dilemma....
I've also been having a hard time soaking in all that comes with a newborn...his cute little noises, sweet first smile, and just watching him watching us AND all that comes with a hilarious, vivacious, charming, wild little 2 year old. I don't want to miss any of Drew's moments either. And I might add that I'm a very much guilt driven person and working really hard with God on this. I don't want to feel guilt about every move I make between the boys. My mom, who is the same way has been filling me with tidbits of wisdom, which are very handy because we are so much alike. She teaching me that it's ok to be more to one kid one day and then the other the next. I don't have to be equal mommy every day....all day. Sometimes, Drew needs me to play cars, and catch, and outside, and snuggle and watch a cartoon. And it is OK to put Miles down and engage with Drew, even if it means Miles is fussing and vice versa.
So, any words of wisdom, experience, or stories are greatly appreciated. As well, as prayers that I would learn how to maintain a healthy balance in becoming a mother of 2.
Happy Slacker Mom Halloween
10 years ago
I love you and it makes me EXTREMELY proud to watch you in your role as a Mommy. I know it's hard and new and you find yourself uncertain many times. But like I've said before, I wish I would have understood the differences in you and your brother. I didn't recognize the differences in personality, needs, strengths, weaknesses, etc. etc. I know that I did not do a very good job of parenting you as individuals because of the enormous guilt I had about being fair, equal, the same. In retrospect I see that it's ok to parent each child differently. It isn't always fair, the same, equal. Needs are not the same each day, each season of life. Seek wisdom from God, be observant to each little boy, realize you are raising these boys to be Godly men of good character, and most of all let yourself off the hook when you can't be all you think you should be. Get rid of the guilt. Pray alot. Love you boys with all your heart, just like you do, have lots of fun, laugh alot, and enjoy this wonderful time of your life. It really does go by too fast!!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any tidbits of wisdom, but I sure will be asking for some when the newest LeFevre shows up. I think about you all often and really think you should move closer so Lance can coach the boys since we will not be having any of our own. That way I can watch them and pretend they are my own!!! Love you and I will be praying!! Oh yeah, thanks for making me cry, YOU TOO KIM!
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